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Bushcraft Knives? Bushcraft knives are shiny toys for dads.
Urban Foraging? Urban foraging is dumpster diving rebranded.
My gym membership is a donation to the concept of hope.
Amateur Survivalists? My friend brought a survival kit camping—then used it to make s’mores.
Baby Showers? Baby showers are gambling on diaper sizes.
Pre-Coffee Personalities? Before coffee I’m not a person, I’m a crime scene.
My to-do list reproduces.
Parenting Toddlers? Parenting toddlers is negotiating with terrorists in diapers.
Budgeting Lies? My budget lasted one Target trip.
I don’t stalk; I research recreationally.
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