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Science Fairs? Science fairs are volcano competitions in disguise.
Note-Taking? Note-taking systems are organized ways to lose thoughts.
Hairstyles From Another Decade? My mullet came back in style—too bad it was attached to me.
Preppers? Preppers call hoarding “strategy.”
I don’t do fashion; I do laundry survival.
Amateur Survivalists? My friend brought a survival kit camping—then used it to make s’mores.
Talent Scouts? I once sang for a talent scout—he scouted the exit.
Beach Days? Beach days are sunscreen, sand in sandwiches, and regret.
Wild Edibles? Wild edibles are nature’s Russian roulette.
Surprise Parties? My “surprise party” failed when I saw my mom hide a balloon.
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