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Unsolicited Advice? Unsolicited advice is just criticism in yoga pants.
Dad Jokes Gone Too Far? My dad told so many puns, the family filed restraining orders.
Revenge Crafting? Revenge crafting is knitting someone a sweater out of pure spite.
My resume is a highlight reel narrated by snacks.
Tattoo Regrets? My tattoo says “No Ragrets,” which proves itself.
I don’t clap back; I slow clap forward.
Haunted Porta-Potties? A haunted porta-potty doesn’t need ghosts—the smell is enough.
Pets as Therapists? My cat listened to me cry—then billed me in scratches.
My boundaries are decorative pillows.
Political Debaters? Political debaters treat Facebook like Congress.
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