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Poetry Slams? Poetry slams are just breakup therapy with microphones.
I don’t ghost; I fade like a polite sunset.
Midlife Crisis Purchases? A sports car doesn’t fix your problems—it just advertises them.
Sketching? Sketching is just drawing badly but faster.
Celebrity News Addicts? If you know more about Kardashians than cousins, you need prayer.
Gaming News Readers? Gaming news is just release dates padded with rage.
Gym Embarrassment? I pulled a muscle while trying to look like I knew what I was doing.
Haunted Baby Monitors? My baby monitor whispered “leave” and I left the baby.
My hobbies include overthinking small talk.
Festival Fashion Fails? Festival fashion is just glitter with sunburn.
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