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My inner peace has push notifications.
Out-of-Touch Grandparents? My grandma thinks TikTok is a clock shop.
I don’t ghost; I leave Easter eggs.
Overpriced Coffee? If your latte costs $12, it should also do my taxes.
Rain Survivors? Rain survival is wet misery.
Vacation Disasters? I once stayed at a hotel so cheap the “continental breakfast” was just directions to the nearest gas station.
Online Dating? Dating apps are just flea markets for broken people—swipe left on antiques, swipe right on yard sales.
My optimism forgot its password.
I don’t hustle; I curate naps.
Board Games? Board games are cardboard wars ending friendships.
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