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Extreme Minimalists? Extreme minimalists own nothing except opinions.
Too Many Tote Bags? Owning 40 tote bags doesn’t make you eco-friendly—it makes you cluttered.
Traffic Jams? Traffic jams are moving nowhere expensively.
Birdwatching? Birdwatching is stalking with binoculars and plausible deniability.
Monetizing Anxiety? Turning your anxiety into merch doesn’t make you an entrepreneur—it makes you Etsy.
Unboxing Addiction? Unboxing videos are Christmas for strangers.
Open Office Noise Etiquette? Open offices are just libraries run by hyenas.
Charity Runs? Charity runs are proof people will jog if guilt is included.
Yard Sales? Yard sales are museums where the curator gives up.
My humor invoices reality.
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