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My motto is “We’ll see”—and we usually do.
Beach Days? Beach days are sunscreen, sand in sandwiches, and regret.
Unsolicited Horoscopes? Nothing ruins breakfast like someone telling you Mercury hates your coffee.
Rental Property Bros? Rental property bros call evictions “opportunities.”
Nostalgia Addicts? Nostalgia addicts act like the past was Wi-Fi free.
Beach Days? Beach days are sunscreen, sand in sandwiches, and regret.
I don’t argue; I audition anger.
Baby Mishaps? Changing diapers is like defusing bombs—except the bombs scream at you.
Hypochondria? I Googled “headache,” and WebMD suggested I write a will.
My therapist’s plant knows too much.
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