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Pet Peeves? Pet peeves are tiny divorces.
National Park Instagrammers? National parks are just backdrops for yoga poses.
Influencer Mugs? A mug that says “boss babe” isn’t empowerment—it’s pottery.
Goal Setting? Goal setting is optimism stapled to calendars.
Remote Control Fights? Nothing tests a marriage like Netflix and two remotes.
Quarantine Life? My sourdough starter lived longer than some of my friendships.
The cloud is just lost files with better branding.
Survival Shows? Survival shows are reality TV with mosquitoes.
Game Night Antics? Monopoly turns family game night into the Cold War with dice.
Drum Circle Neighbors? My neighbors’ drum circle meets every full moon to ruin my life.
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