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Wine Tastings? Wine tastings are just mouthwash with attitude.
Unboxing Addiction? Unboxing videos are Christmas for strangers.
I don’t jog; I narrate briskly.
My greatest fear is “reply all” with confidence.
Theme Weddings? A Star Wars wedding sounds romantic until someone says “I do” in Wookiee.
Unexpected Surprises? My “surprise party” started when I caught them inflating balloons in my kitchen.
TMI on First Dates? My date told me about her ex-husband’s kidney stones before appetizers.
My goals have trust issues with me.
Friendship Breakups? Friendship breakups are worse—you can’t split custody of memes.
Soccer Coverage? Soccer coverage is men faking injuries for art.
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