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Painting Classes? Painting classes are wine tastings with brushes.
Rain Survival? Rain survival is hypothermia cosplay.
Unintentional Innuendos? My boss told me to “touch base,” so HR touched base with me.
Movie Clichés? Every action movie proves car doors are bulletproof.
My Wi-Fi is my emotional support.
History Museums? History museums are dusty reminders people always messed up.
Bad Selfies? My selfie game is so weak even my phone asks, “You sure?”
Misunderstood Instructions? They said “dress casual,” so I showed up looking like I just escaped laundry day.
I don’t stress-eat; I research cuisines.
My motto is “We’ll see”—and we usually do.
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