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My optimism has terms & conditions.
Creative Writing Prompts? Writing prompts are homework without grades.
Poorly Timed Fireworks? Fireworks at a funeral aren’t patriotic—they’re traumatic.
Gardening Clubs? Gardening clubs are just bragging rights for who can kill plants the slowest.
The Blender That Won’t Stop? My blender kept running until my smoothie turned into soup.
Goal Setting? Goal setting is optimism stapled to calendars.
Accidental TikToks? My dad accidentally went viral trying to Google “TikTok.”
Poorly Timed Fireworks? Fireworks at a funeral aren’t patriotic—they’re traumatic.
Whispering in Horror Movies? Whispering “don’t go in there” doesn’t help—we all hear you.
My optimism is on probation.
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