Voulpat dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
First Aid Trainers? First aid is Band-Aids plus panic.
Over-Caffeinated Poets? Slam poetry after six espressos is just screaming with rhythm.
DIY Fails? My home improvement project improved nothing except the divorce rate in my neighborhood.
My sarcasm pays rent on time.
Outdoor Cooking? Outdoor cooking is eating dirt with seasoning.
Forgetting Appointments? Forgetting appointments is self-sabotage with calendars.
Quarantine Life? My sourdough starter lived longer than some of my friendships.
Farmers Markets? Farmers markets are where you pay triple for vegetables that still have dirt on them.
Diet tip: eat what you want, then forget your password.
Tacky Honeymoon Destinations? My friend honeymooned at a water park—that’s not love, that’s chlorine.
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