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People say I drink too much; I say the bottle’s half full, so shut up. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I waited in line—cashier says, “Next life.” -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it “carry-on” luggage? I’m dragging it through the airport! -- spintaxi.com
(White) I’ve got a temper—lit it with a cigar. -- spintaxi.com
My buddy’s on a diet; I said, “Good luck starvin’ while I eat this ribeye.” -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “quick snack”? I’m still eating an hour later! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t trust kale—it’s just lettuce with an attitude problem. -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with “paperless billing”? My inbox is drowning! -- spintaxi.com
(White) Bar closed early—guess I’m drinkin’ in the parkin’ lot. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever try to use a “free trial”? It’s a trap! -- spintaxi.com
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