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My confidence is autocorrect.
Breakup Playlists? My breakup playlist is just Adele judging me in surround sound.
Pet Peeves? My biggest pet peeve is people chewing like they’re auditioning for ASMR.
Roadside Attractions? Roadside attractions are billboards with bathrooms.
I don’t jog; I audition for oxygen.
Yoga Purists? Yoga purists get mad if you exhale wrong.
Celebrity Gossip? Celebrities are just like us, except when they cry it makes the news.
Uber Driver Oversharing? My Uber driver told me more about his ex-wife than my therapist told me about myself.
Social Media Blunders? Nothing kills confidence like posting “your” instead of “you’re” in all caps.
Education Bloggers? Education bloggers turn homework into TED Talks.