Voulpat dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
Today Years Old? Saying “I was today years old” is proof you were yesterday dumb.
My Wi-Fi sighs at me.
Food Photography? Food photography is just lying to your stomach with lighting.
Yoga Retreats? Yoga retreats are stretching vacations.
Book Clubs? Book clubs are wine clubs with homework.
Overenthusiastic Life Coaches? My life coach yelled “you can do it” at my divorce hearing.
Zombie Preppers? Zombie preppers cosplay fear with Costco carts.
My wallet’s on a diet; my cravings aren’t.
I don’t daydream; I storyboard.
Pet Psychic Consultations? A pet psychic told me my dog hates my Wi-Fi password.