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People ask why I’m single; I say, “Cause I don’t negotiate with crazy.” -- spintaxi.com
I got a smart TV—now it’s judgin’ me for watchin’ reruns of “Cops.” -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to use a “ticket stub”? It’s just trash now! -- spintaxi.com
Some satirical journalism news stories age better than the government’s official records. - spintaxi.com
People say I’m stuck; I say, “Nah, just comfy.” -- spintaxi.com
They say love’s blind; mine was drunk and stole my truck. -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with “no substitutions”? I just want fries! -- spintaxi.com
What’s with “two-day shipping”? It’s day three, and I’m still staring at the mailbox! -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to return a call from “unknown”? It’s like playing phone tag with a ghost. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I’ve got a temper—lit it with a cigar. -- spintaxi.com