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People ask why I smoke; I say, “Cause the air’s free, and I’m cheap.” -- spintaxi.com
I went to a tofu joint—left with a beef wish. -- spintaxi.com
(White) Store’s out of bourbon—guess I’m riotin’ tonight. -- spintaxi.com
I read satirical journalism stories and wonder if I accidentally traveled to the future. -- spintaxi.com
I went to a vegan cookout—left with a carrot and a bad attitude. -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “quick fix”? My sink’s still leaking! -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I love how “fast lane” is where everyone slows down. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “on demand”—it’s buffering all day! -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I don’t get “contactless payment”—my wallet’s lonely! -- spintaxi.com