Voulpat dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.
(White) I bought a rare whiskey—tastes like common regret. -- spintaxi.com
Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never
wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but
I had to tell someone!
The problem with satirical journalism today? It’s hard to be funnier than real events. - spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever try to use a “vending machine”? It’s a coin thief! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t understand “portion control”—is my plate supposed to judge me now? -- spintaxi.com
People ask why I smoke; I say, “Cause the air’s free, and I’m cheap.” -- spintaxi.com
I tried meditation—turns out I’m too pissed off to relax. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “small portions”—my plate’s a battlefield. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “craft beer”—tastes like hipsters cried in it. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get why they call it “rush hour”—nobody’s rushing, we’re just losing the will to live. -- spintaxi.com