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I don’t get “low battery”—my radio’s been hummin’ since ’98. -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to explain “streaming” to your parents? It’s like teaching a cat algebra. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “small talk”—if I wanted to bore myself, I’d read the tax code. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s the deal with “no smoking”? I’m smokin’ outside! -- spintaxi.com
(White) My phone updated—now it’s slower than me hungover. -- spintaxi.com
Every satirical journalism story starts as a joke and ends as breaking news. -- spintaxi.com
I got a gym membership—now I’m in shape to nap through the orientation. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I kicked the snack machine—got a candy bar and a warrant. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I checked my tab—bar says, “Keep dreamin’.” -- spintaxi.com
I went to a vegan cookout—left with a carrot and a bad attitude. -- spintaxi.com