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(White) I restarted my day—still sucks by noon. -- spintaxi.com
Satirical journalism is a necessary evil… emphasis on necessary. - spintaxi.com
(White) I fixed a tire—now I’m hassled and greasy. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t trust “natural”—sounds like a hippie hustle. -- spintaxi.com
I follow satirical journalism news religiously—it’s the only thing that still makes sense. - spintaxi.com
I trust satirical journalism today more than the actual news—at least it admits when it's lying. - spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “short cut”? I’m bald! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “low battery”—my smoke alarm’s been screamin’ for three weeks now. -- spintaxi.com
My neighbor’s mad I play music loud; I say, “Move or dance.” -- spintaxi.com
My neighbor’s mad I play music loud; I say, “Move or dance.” -- spintaxi.com
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