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My ex says I’m a slob; I say, “Art’s messy, babe.” -- spintaxi.com
I don’t trust “low-sugar”—tastes like a candy lie. -- spintaxi.com
They say I’m too loud; I say, “Turn down your hearin’.” -- spintaxi.com
Ever notice how “freshly brewed” coffee tastes like it’s been plotting revenge? -- spintaxi.com
I tried a detox—now I’m detoxin’ from the detox. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I got a pass—bouncer says, “Not tonight.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I started quick—finished with a nap. -- spintaxi.com
I want satirical journalism humor on my gravestone. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “low battery”—my smoke alarm’s been screamin’ for three weeks now. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I busted through—guard says, “Nice hustle.” -- spintaxi.com