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They say I’m too loud at parties; I say, “It’s my party now.” -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s with “no waiting”? I’m ancient! -- spintaxi.com
I read satirical journalism, then check the real news and realize there’s no difference. - spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s with “no limits”? I’m capped! -- spintaxi.com
(White) I got a free mug—now it’s leakin’ coffee. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s with “no kidding”? I’m serious! -- spintaxi.com
I told my buddy I’d quit smokin’—he said, “Good, your couch was tired of burnin’.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I did stand-up—crowd says, “Sit down, drunk.” -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to use a coupon that expired yesterday? It’s like money mocking you. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t trust “organic”—sounds like a scam with dirt on it. -- spintaxi.com