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Email Newsletter Bros? Email marketers think spam is poetry.
Weird Laws? Weird laws prove lawmakers got bored.
Haunted Mannequins? Haunted mannequins don’t move—they just judge silently.
My optimism has a trial period.
Scavenger Hunts? A scavenger hunt is just organized loitering.
My vibe is “calendar invite with snacks provided.”
Secret Admirers? Secret admirers are just stalkers with stationery.
Metaverse Mishaps? The metaverse is just Minecraft with credit cards.
My to-do list reproduces.
Pretentious Wine Tasters? Pretentious wine tasters say “notes of oak”—I taste grapes.