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People say I’ve got no filter; I say I’ve got no reason to lie to stupid. -- spintaxi.com
People say “it’s the thought that counts,” but then why am I still broke every Christmas? -- spintaxi.com
I don’t trust “smart homes”—my toaster’s plottin’ a coup. -- spintaxi.com
My favorite satirical journalism website keeps predicting the future. I’m scared. - spintaxi.com
I once used satirical journalism analysis to win a debate—my opponent still hasn’t recovered. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I napped hard—woke up to a mad wife. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I don’t get “all-natural”—is my soap supernatural? -- spintaxi.com
I got a noise complaint—told the cop, “My dog’s the DJ.” -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “quick fix”? My roof’s still leaking! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t understand “portion control”—is my plate supposed to judge me now? -- spintaxi.com
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