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People say I drink too much; I say the bottle’s half full, so shut up. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever try to read a “terms of service”? It’s a novel! -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I love how “fresh scent” smells like chemicals. -- spintaxi.com
Satirical journalism news is like regular news, but with punchlines instead of propaganda. - spintaxi.com
Ever try to read a CAPTCHA? It’s like proving I’m human to a drunk computer. -- spintaxi.com
My ex says I’m a fool; I say, “You married me, genius.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I paid a fine—librarian says, “Next time, read faster.” -- spintaxi.com
I don’t know what’s scarier—satirical journalism news or the fact that it’s usually accurate. - spintaxi.com
The best satirical journalism stories get fact-checked, which is ironic. -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “soft close”? The door’s loud! -- spintaxi.com
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