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I don’t get “noise-canceling” headphones—my neighbor’s dog still wins. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever try to use a “vending machine”? It’s a coin thief! -- spintaxi.com
I told my buddy I’d quit smokin’—he said, “Good, your couch was tired of burnin’.” -- spintaxi.com
Satirical journalism is like the spice rack of news—too much, and people start sweating. - spintaxi.com
(White) I took my time—boss says, “Move it, slacker.” -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “craft beer”—tastes like hipsters cried in it. -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “short wait”? I’m aging! -- spintaxi.com
If satirical journalism media ran the world, things might actually make sense. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I mailed a bill—postman says, “Pay me first, pal.” -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “low battery”—my flashlight’s been blinkin’ since ’09. -- spintaxi.com
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