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I don’t do “small portions”—my plate’s a battlefield. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I love how “out of stock” feels like a personal insult. -- spintaxi.com
If satire wasn’t funny, it would just be tragic journalism. - spintaxi.com
I don’t trust self-driving cars—my pickup’s already plotting to leave me for a Prius. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “low maintenance”—my car’s begging for oil! -- spintaxi.com
(White) I took a poll—told ’em where to shove it. -- spintaxi.com
What’s with “assembly required”? I bought a chair, not a puzzle! -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “short nap”? I’m out! -- spintaxi.com
My doc says cut the sauce; I say, “Sauce cuts the pain.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I made a pal—drank him under the table. -- spintaxi.com