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I told my wife I’d quit drinkin’—turns out she meant the whiskey, not the beer. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “small portions”—my plate’s a battlefield. -- spintaxi.com
Why do they put “serves 4” on a pizza box? Who’s eating one slice? -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “no pets”—my cat’s family, deal with it. -- spintaxi.com
People say I’m slow; I say, “Nah, just savorin’ the whiskey.” -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s with “no U-turn”? I’m lost already! -- spintaxi.com
Satirical journalism media is what happens when people stop taking bad ideas seriously. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “hands-free”—my phone’s still bossy! -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with “no delivery”? I’m starving! -- spintaxi.com
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