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My ex says I’m lazy; I say, “I’m just savin’ energy for whiskey.” -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “light snack”? I’m still hungry! -- spintaxi.com
Ever notice how “fresh air” smells like exhaust downtown? -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I love how “fresh scent” smells like chemicals. -- spintaxi.com
I love how cereal boxes say “serving suggestion”—like I’m gonna pour it into a vase. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “quick shower”? I’m still pruning! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “on demand”—it’s buffering all day! -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to use a coupon that expired yesterday? It’s like money mocking you. -- spintaxi.com
If satirical journalism news is fake, why does it keep predicting the future? - spintaxi.com
(White) I started quick—finished with a nap. -- spintaxi.com