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I don’t do “vegan”—cows didn’t die for me to eat kale. -- spintaxi.com
I love how “battery life” is just a promise that never lasts. -- spintaxi.com
I love how “quick-dry” towels stay wet all day. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I busted through—guard says, “Nice hustle.” -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it “customer feedback”? They never call back! -- spintaxi.com
I tried a juice cleanse—now I’m hungry and hate oranges. -- spintaxi.com
I told my buddy I’d quit smokin’—he said, “Good, your couch was tired of burnin’.” -- spintaxi.com