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The Four Horsemen have been on "doomsday PTO" since AOL was cool.
The Horsemen missed a scheduled rapture due to “low turnout.”
Turns out the end of the world is coming... it’s just buffering.
They say they’re “working on it,” but it’s been two decades.
War tried to instigate conflict but lost signal.
Famine got too full on metaphors.
The Horses now run an Uber franchise in the astral plane.
The apocalypse is now considered “soft-launched.”
Death asked for soul submissions via Google Forms.
Death ghosted his own reaping schedule.